Persistance
by xLoadedPistolx
Summary: Sam can not accept fate.
1. Chapter 1

It's funny you know. You tell yourself that you have plenty of time to come out with your feelings. That somehow everything will turn out okay in the end. Even though I was lying to myself I didn't want to admit it. But now I am sitting in my lab feeling empty and there is nothing nobody can do about it.

It wasn't supposed to happen that way. Janet was never supposed to be there. At least that is what I keep telling myself. I don't want to believe that Janet Frasier is dead. Her life was stolen by a damn Jaffa who didn't think twice. No matter what anybody tells me her death will never be justified. The only thing that makes this living hell more bearable is the thought that Janet died doing what she loved, her job.

Almost every time I saw her I wanted to come clean with my true feelings, but kept telling myself that there is always time. I of all people should know that is a bunch of bullshit. Every time we go through the stargate there is a good chance we will never come back. I accepted this for myself but I never thought that Janet would be the one to lose her life in battle.

All I can think about is the lost time. All the time that could have been spent making happy memories is now all shot to the wind. I am supposed to be the great Samantha Carter. I can save the world countless times yet I couldn't even tell Janet my true feelings. I was so scared that she would have been disgusted by me. I was even more scared about losing my job and being dishonorably discharged from the Air Force. Now that I look back at it I find that incredibly stupid and selfish. True love only comes by once in a lifetime and I lost my chance because I was too scared of a bunch of bigots telling me it was wrong.

I keep telling myself that I could have stopped it somehow. That we could be together and live happily ever after without scrutiny from the government. She was never meant to die! Damn why does it have to be like this? That is the question that plays itself in my head. Teal'c tells me that there is no escaping fate. That you can run and hide but it will eventually grab you in its vice and never let go. That is bullshit to me. I WILL find a way to get her back if it's the last thing I do.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Persistence part 2

Author: Jade

Date: 7-14-07

Email: to:

Series: part 2 of Persistence series

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sam/Janet

Category: crossover

Season: Seven

Episode: Heroes pt. 1 and 2

Spoilers: events in Heroes are mentioned but it kind of branches out from there.

Warnings: Character death, vampires

Summary: Sam meets some new people in the cemetery

Notes: It's a crossover with WaTchers: The Virtual Series. WaTchers is a spin-off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You don't need to have ever read this series to get the story, but, it would be cool if you give em' a visit at  It's a great virtual series and they put a whole bunch of work into it.

For the past month I have been living in a hell that I can not escape. I've been trying to keep up with my work while putting on a false facade to the entire world that I am okay. I have failed miserably. My teammates have become concerned about me. Daniel and General Hammond have both tried to 'shrink' me already. Colonel O'Neill just looks at me strangely and offers occasional words of support mixed in with his usual caustic sarcasm. Even Teal'c, who has been strangely talkative around me and asks me how Cassie and I are on a regular basis.

They are absolutely clueless to the true root of my heartache. They believe I have lost a dear friend and that is what has tearing me up inside. This is true yet there is more to the story. I loved Janet as I have loved no other. I believe she was the 'one' for me yet I missed my chance to be with her because of my foolishness. I let years pass by without sharing with her my true feelings. I was scared of rejection.

My earlier determination of finding a way to bring Janet back to life has diminished. I read every book that I could get my hands on with the subject of reanimating the dead but my attempts where in vain because the books only confirmed, to me, that it is impossible. Science is still baffled by this intangible task. I then tried to accept the fact that Janet is dead and there is nothing that can be done.

Recently I was appointed to clean out Janet's office by General Hammond. He wanted a friend of hers to do it and apparently he thought I'd be the best for the job.

I found her journal among her personal belongings. At first I didn't read it but later I was moping around my house and saw it just sitting on top of the box in the living room. I couldn't resist myself. As I opened the cover and read the first entry I couldn't believe my eyes. A sharp pain ripped through my numb heart at her words.

Inside the confines of her journal lay the confession I always dreamed of hearing from her mouth. She loved me. There it was out loud and completely undeniable. As I read her reasoning for not telling me, it was identical to mine.

This made my heart stop beating in my chest and my breathing cease. I couldn't believe it. I slammed the journal down and cried my eyes out. All the pain that I felt before this revelation now increased tenfold. I could have had my chance with her. I blew it.

It was dark, I just got off of duty, and was still in my BDU's, but that didn't deter me from entering the cemetery where my beloved lay. I had to walk near the back of the cemetery before I reached her.

"Janet, baby, I read your journal and I now know what you fought so hard to keep from me. I wanted to let you know that I love you. I've loved you from the moment I first saw your beautiful face. I'm just sorry I didn't have the guts to tell you before, when you where still here with me." A rustling in the bushes snapped me from my reverie.

"Who's there?" I called.

Suddenly a large figure stepped out of the bushes. It was a man about six feet tall, with a muscular build, and eyes that were almost glowing. I stood up and faced the man, "who are you?" He just smiled and contorted his face into one of a monster.

Before I had time to process this information two other figures burst through the bushes. One of the figures, who turned out to be a woman, engaged in a battle with the man.

I was so shocked that it took me a little while to process this. When I caught up, I noticed that the woman who was engaged in battle with the man was struggling. I drew my zat from my holster and aimed at the man. When I got a good lock, I fired.

It all happened so fast. The guy caught on fire from the zat and proceeded to literally turn into ashes and disintegrate in front of me. I was in shock.

I just stared at the place where the man had been. My mind working at a hundred miles an hour wondering what the hell I had just witnessed. The woman came over to me and helped me up. I eventually snapped out of it and when I did, I found the woman and the other figure, which was a man, whispering to each other about a foot away from me.

"What in the hell was that?!" I blurted, still a little shocked.

"A vampire," the woman replied almost nonchalantly.

At the same time, my head snapped up and I practically yelled, "A what?!" and the man shouted, "Layne!" in chastisement.

"Oh, was I not supposed to say that?" Layne asked.

"No, Layne, definitely not," He glared at her before turning an eye to me and reviewing my uniform. He took one look at my ranking and grew pale.

I found my voice and decided that now was as good a time as any to start asking questions.

"Are you saying that…thing...was a vampire? Are you telling me that 'vampires' actually exist and are not just folklore that people made up to satisfy their imaginations?"

The man regarded me, "No ma'am, vampires actually exist and if you just come with us, we'll explain it to you."

"Why do we have to explain it to her? We've met dozens of other people who we haven't had to explain things to in the past!" Layne blurted out looking at the man with disapproval written plainly all over her face.

"Layne, this is an officer of the United States Air Force, we could be in more trouble if we don't explain everything to her," he replied, almost patiently.

"Oh"

"I'll come with you," of coarse I wanted to go with them because what can I say, I was curious. My whole life I've been led not to believe the supernatural. Even through the Stargate, I tend to look at things through a scientific eye.

They told me everything. Vampires, demons, slayers, witches, magic, the Watchers Council, hellmouths, and all the other things I've believed not to exist my entire life.

Oh yeah, two years ago when that small town in Southern California collapsed, it never happened the way the media portrayed it. It was an apocalypse!

In this apocalypse, the main branch for the watchers council was destroyed, and now the group from Sunnydale has rebuilt it in Cleveland, though they run it differently from the original council. They have smaller branches placed all over the world in places with active hellmouths.

Colorado Springs sits on a small hellmouth and a small council branch is located here, I had never even noticed. Of course, I've been kind of busy ever since I moved here, almost eight years ago.

I have their number and address if I need anything. Apparently my superiors in the White House and Pentagon already knew about all this but have turned, conveniently, the other way. Then they said something about the Initiative, I'll find out more about that later.

I got some books on magic and demons to read from Gage, Layne's watcher, and I found this interesting chapter in the magic book on resurrection. I have my way. I have been looking in the wrong place.

Now that I know I have found my way, I will bring my love back to me!


End file.
